Being Desperately in Need of Hope: The Ongoing Struggle

Do you know when you can say things are bad? Exactly when against everything that you believe, against reality, and against your own sanity you start to desperately hope for a miracle to happen. You start Being desperately in need of hope. But you know all the possible miracles have happened and there is no miracle left. But that does not stop you from wistful wishes!

My life passes by and I am slowly withering as the years go by and every bit of disappointment and regret leaves their mark like a dagger on my soul. Every failure feels a bit heavier each year and every single tear drops a little faster than it used to.

So I wait… I wait for the day that I will look back and say it was worth the wait. The day that I finally win, the day that probably will never come! This is my life, full of disappointments, failures, regrets, and waiting in between all of them. A life full of wishful hopes, unmet desires, wasted talents, and missed opportunities! A life of an ordinary man! A life to be forgotten about!

What does it take to stop me from hoping like a child, like a naive boy? How much longer do I need to keep being delusional? What else needs to happen for me to realize that hope creates more trouble than it solves? That hope is the greatest evil in our lives.