The Existential Dilemma: Divine Plan, Free Will, and the Agony of Being

There has always been too much emphasis on the existence of a divine plan in life. We falsely believe that there is a unique path for each of us, one that ensures everything will eventually turn out as it’s supposed to. But why do we assume that a divine plan is something inherently good? Is it not just as possible to imagine that we’re here merely to entertain gods, to amuse them with our endless struggles? Perhaps there is a kind of satisfaction in denying us our deepest wishes. What if our suffering, our agony, is their delight? And what would be even more fulfilling for these gods than making us wait in perpetual hope, holding on to the illusion that one day our desires will be answered? While they mock us from above, laughing at our seriousness, we move through life as though it will never end, as though we’re not all headed toward the same inevitable conclusion. As though we truly matter!

The naive cling to the belief that some holy power watches over us, ensuring that we will find prosperity and fulfillment in the end. But why should we expect good things? Have we not come into this world to suffer? Have we not been suffering all along? Maybe there have been short moments of joy but when we sit back and contemplate are we supposed to ignore the many sufferings that exist? the agony of being? Emil Cioran was right death is not the problem, but living is. It is the livings that suffer and feel. But what if no such plan exists? What if we are merely wandering through life, aimless and blind? What if the events that unfold in our lives carry no meaning at all? What if things simply never get better? Or even scarier, what if the plan is for us to suffer? I believe it is more probable that our Destiny is to reach a point where we become oblivious to pain. This might be the task of existence. To endure suffering until we exist no more.

For me, either there is no plan at all, and we’re simply lost in a chaotic life where nothing happens for a reason, or there is a plan, but it’s deeply flawed and the maker of our Destiney is indifferent to us. On the other hand, there is the issue of free will. Are we to believe that we can make our own decisions even while following some predetermined plan? How can both be true? How can we have both a set path and the freedom to choose? The whole argument about free will is nonsense, but I believe it is possible, that we may be able to choose our sufferings but nothing further. But then is it really free will?

We are all doomed, and that is the bitter truth. In this pitiful, pathetic life, we are condemned to want many things and receive only a handful and even then, we are surely to regret them as well. Life, at its core, is learning to accept that we cannot and will not have what we desire. The sooner we come to terms with that, the less power our hopes and dreams hold over us.